Friday, December 30, 2011

God Thoughts No. Forty Two

I've noticed that a lot of bloggers are posting summaries, highlights & "best of's" for 2011.
I began thinking about what I should post for the end of 2011
and all that seems right is to sum up my life
and to declare, once again,  who God is...

No matter what happens on this earth,
God is good.
No matter what trials, tribulations, tragedies or challenges befall us,
Jesus has overcome them all.

Because of these two facts,
there is Hope
we have Victory.

Over the past year,
Holy Spirit has put a new song in my heart
and it is
Praise to the King!

With this perspective,
I can look back on 2011 and smile a bittersweet smile
while looking forward to 2012
with great excitement & anticipation.

Holy Spirit says,
"Expect great things!"



Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Job, George & Me

At midnight,
I awoke, burning up and in writhing pain.
Whether it is something hormonal, something I ate,
or simply an attack from Satan,
I don't know.
But as I lay there in fetal position,
I began thinking about my life as compared to that of
Job (the Bible) and of
George Bailey (It's A Wonderful Life).
Like Job, I have lovingly, fearfully and willingly served God for as long as I can remember.
And as with Job, in many ways, my life has fallen apart.
Thankfully, unlike Job, my children remain alive and well and I still have a roof over my head.
I have, however, been stripped of many, many things
and have spent plenty of time lamenting the day of my birth.
To have been born only to end up where I am right now makes very little sense to me.
Job didn't understand why he was allowed to go through all he went through.
He was, after all, a righteous man.
In fact, God said that there was no one else on the earth like him.
Yet, God allowed Satan to test him, sift him and attempt to destroy him.
 I clearly see that the same is true in my own life.

Though Job and I have struggled, we remain faithful.
In fact, through each trial,
we gain new revelation of the LORD
and our relationship with Him is strengthened.
Like Job, I understand that God is sovereign and that He does as He wills.
It does not matter what happens on this earth;
I am His and He is mine.
Yes, His banner over me is Love.
In comparison to George Bailey, I understand what it is like to be thrust
into situations by a sense of duty and responsibility and mostly due to
circumstances beyond my control.
My life has reached a place where all odds are against me.
Though no one has (yet) come to arrest me, things are a hopeless mess.
People judge and do not (even try to) understand.
All the while, things spin out of control.

As with George, Satan attempts to destroy me.
But as I stand on the brink, I remember that Jesus said
in this world would be trial and; testing.
But He also said to not fear because He had overcome it all.
And because He is victoriuos, I am victorious.
I have yet to see this victory manifested in my life,
but I must hold onto this promise
and remember,
His banner over me is Love.

Something the Lord revealed to me this morning (as I lay writhing)
was that both Job and George's stories have happy endings.
Interestingly, God used people to restore both Job and George,
which is, indeed, a miracle!
Both men came out victorious and better off than when they had begun.
Whether my story has a happy ending or not remains to be seen.
But I have come to realize that
all that truly matters is that I remain faithful (to the end) to the One whose
Banner over me is Love.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

God Thoughts No. Forty One

In His goodness and love,
God never ceases to amaze me.
As I persist with determination to know Him more,
He is faithful to reveal Himself anew to me every day.
He is so multi-faceted that we will never know the fullness of Him
until we are with Him in heaven.
each moment with Him is a wonderful revelation of His goodness.

The past couple of weeks have been "interesting" for me.
Though I lay down each night feeling exhausted and ready for sleep,
as soon as I try to snuggle in,
my mind kicks into gear.
I toss and turn and I am wide awake.

As I toss, I pray.
With every turn, I converse with God.
Holy Spirit brings to mind
thoughts, dreams, hopes & people.
He gives me ideas, places desires in my heart & speaks to me of others' needs.

With each idea, hope & revelation,
I am infused with an overwhelming sense of expectancy.
As I pray for Him to manifest the promises which He has made to me,
I vow to go about fulfilling the desires He has placed upon my heart;
to bless those that He desires to bless.

Then it occurs to me;
He doesn't really need me to carry out His blessings
(though He delights in sharing with me the desires of His heart).

In the past week,
He has allowed me to bear witness to His goodness
 by answering my prayers for some of those He has laid upon my heart. 
Though He didn't used me to manifest those blessings in their lives,
He gave me a sneak peak into what He was already doing for them!
How exciting!
How amazing!
How humbling that He would share with me what He was planning to do
in the lives of those whom I love.

He truly is an amazing, loving Father!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

God Thoughts No. Forty

The older I get, I realize, the less I know;
yet I am convinced of many things.

My need to always be right has dwindled,
yet, there are things which I know to be true.

If man would put aside his need to always be right
and take the time to truly listen to his fellow man,
we would live in a completely different kind of world.
To be truly humble
is to put aside one's "rights"
and the need to always be right;
to defer to others by seeking to
understand them,
empathize with them
and esteem them higher than one's self.

Jesus didn't come to be served but to serve.
Pride and arrogance have no place in the heart of a true servant.

Full reign, compliance and control to Holy Spirit is key.
He must increase and I must decrease.
Better still, He WILL in crease as I purpose to decrease.

How's that for some "random" thoughts?!

Monday, November 21, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty Nine

Despite everything going on in the world,
one thing which I know holds true is
God is good.

Jesus ~
the embodiment of goodness.

It is this knowledge
which enables me to get out of bed
every morning.

Were it not for this fact,
the world would be at a loss;
without hope.

with Him
is the very origin of

May you be blessed
with the knowledge of Him
 and His goodness
this Holiday Season.

Monday, November 7, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Eight

“Adonai, I am calling to you;
my Rock, don’t be deaf to my cry.
For if you answer me with silence,
I will be like those who fall into a pit.
Hear the sound of my prayers
when I cry to you,
when I lift my hands
toward your holy sanctuary.”
Psalm 28:1-2

My life has reached the place where
just before the scene fades,
the only thing anyone can utter is,

“God help us.”

Friday, November 4, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Seven

“Whoever hears the Word but doesn’t do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in the mirror; who looks at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” James 1:23-24

The things I write about are the things God is showing me about myself and working out in my own life. I don’t write to point out the things others may or may not be doing. I simply share from the fountain of my own experiences. If they touch you, bless you, minister to you, offend you or convict you, it is not I who is responsible, but it is Holy Spirit working in you (just as He is in me).

“So all of us, with faces unveiled, see as in a mirror the glory of the Lord; and we are being changed into His very image, from one degree of glory to the next, by Adonai, the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

When I share, it is what the Lord has revealed to me about myself by holding the mirror up to my own face. Not because He is a sadistic God who likes to point out my faults but because He is a loving father who is answering the plea I made to Him a long time ago; a plea to make me more like Him. In order to do so, I need to see how and where it is that I fall short.

In yesterday’s post, I shared of my need to take a break from Facebook because of the negative feelings it has added to my “Season of Aloneness”. I did not share so that others would feel badly, but simply, to share my honest feelings. I have had people say that they enjoy the blogs where I write with raw emotion and “realness”.

Though I have experienced feelings of loss, hurt and aloneness, the Lord has revealed to me that I have, in the past, been guilty of inflicting these same emotions onto others by my own lack.
I confess, there have been times when the Lord has prompted me to reach out to someone by way of a word, note or phone call and I have failed to act on it. He has taught me that by failing to act on these things, I fail to carry out His will. And when I fail to carry out His will, I miss out on the blessing of being a blessing to someone else. I think the main point of 2 Corinthians 3:18 is that we are to be honest with ourselves and to learn follow the leading of Holy Spirit so that we become more like Him

On the other side of that, the Lord has used my time of being alone to show me that He is, indeed, enough for me. He is my Father, my Savior, my Friend and my Comforter. He wants us to realize that He can be and is, indeed, our All-in-All. When it comes down to it, we are really never truly alone.
In the midst of all of this, I remain human. In the past, I thought that a godly woman would not allow certain emotions to show; that by giving vent to them, I would appear to be less godly, thus giving people reason to point their fingers at me. But guess what? It is God who created the emotions that we feel. He has taught me that He knows my inner most being and is aware of all that is going on within me. And as such, He has taught me that I am free, in Christ, to let those things out and to be honest about it.

So, as I seek, ever, to become more like Him, I will be faced with countless opportunities to look into that mirror and see myself as I truly am while allowing Him to change what ever needs to be changed. And in so doing, I will see those around me through His eyes, thus enabling me to Love the way that He loves.

“Just as water reflects the face, so one human heart reflects another.” Proverbs 27:19

Thursday, November 3, 2011

In Order to Save Face, I’m Closing the Book…

That is.

Yesterday I announced on Facebook and Twitter that I was quitting;
Quitting Facebook, Twitter & Blogger.
After much consideration, I have decided, however, to keep the blog.
I have always written down my thoughts of God to God.
There is no reason I should cease to do so now.
Whether anyone reads it or not does not matter.
I write because it’s what I do.
It’s who I am.
Facebook and Twitter, however, are another matter completely.
When I first started on FB and Twitter, I thought they would serve as a great way to keep in touch with people; a quick and easy way to share, encourage and uplift one another.
Unfortunately, for about the past year, for me, they have served as tools of discouragement.
I have witnessed others on FB encouraging & loving one another with warm and endearing words while I sit alone in mourning.

In the fourteen months since my mom passed away, I have had one friend who has taken the time to phone me on a regular basis and to encourage & support me (physically, emotionally; even financially). Ironically, she isn’t even on FB!

So…I quit!

Now before you “tsk, tsk” me for being hurt and/or offended, let me say, that I am neither! (any more).
I’m tired.
I’m weary.
I need a break.
Perhaps this is my forty days in the wilderness.

What-ever-the-case, please don’t pray for what you think it is I need.
 If you would like to pray for me, please pray Spirit-led/filled prayers as it is He who knows what it is I need.

I promise I will do the same for you because that’s what He desires for us to do!

In His love, with abundant blessings, have a wonderful day!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty Six

This is the day that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad!
For I know where my help comes from
and all of my needs are met
by Him and come from the
storehouses of heaven!

Public & corporate praise & worship
lift the spirit in an amazing way.
We are encouraged to do it often.

So, Thank You
for allowing me to do so!

If you're reading this blog,
join me & see if it doesn't lift
your spirit!
Indeed, I am sure it will!
Have a wonderfully blessed day in Him!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Five

One sees the Homeless in a different light
when homelessness becomes a near and real possibility.

Something happened a few days ago
which affected me greatly.

A young man, who couldn't have been any older than twenty,
and I were walking toward each other down a narrow lane.
In order to avoid bumping into each other, one of us was going to have to turn sideways.
Although he made no eye contact with me and appeared not to even see me,
as we neared one another, we both turned a bit sideways to get by each other.
As he passed by, my heart lurched within my chest as tears sprang to my eyes.
I was overcome with emotion as the Lord imparted His love for this young man into my heart.
As it turns out, we ended up in the same line - him standing in front of me.

As I stood behind him, I observed that he was a bit unkempt.
I looked at his clothing which was a bit dirty, but not filthy.
His hair was mussed, but cut relatively short.
As I looked down toward his feet, I saw that he was wearing long shorts
and beyond them were two very dirty calves.
As I continued looking, I noticed that he was wearing a pair of hightop sneakers
but he didn't have them on all the way.
He was stepping on the backs of them with two very dirty, sore feet.
His right heel was severely cracked in two places to the point of bleeding.
His left heel was rimmed with small blisters which had popped and crusted over.

Once again, tears sprang to my eyes.
I began to pray for him and ask the Lord to bless him.
I reached out my hand to touch him, but it was his turn in line.

I then lost track of him.
But he had to come back.
Our paths were to cross once again.

Still no eye contact.
He seemed to have an uncanny ability to appear as if he saw no one
while efficiently accomplishing what he needed to do.
And strangely, no one else appeared to take any notice of him.

Once again I was standing behind him.
I stepped to his left side so that I could study his profile.
I noticed that he had a very tiny tatoo near the outside corner of his eye.
Perhaps a tear drop.
I'm not really sure because it was very faint and very small.
Tears sprang to my eyes again.
This time I whispered my prayers,
hoping that he would turn to see what I was doing.
He didn't.
He waited for his turn, then was once again gone.

As I stood reflecting on this young man
and the emotions within me,
I realized that my family and I could very easily and very soon become that young man.

Ignored by society.

Every day is a walk in faith.
Each day is lived with the hope that God will provide.
Each day is one day closer to the possibilty of homelessness.

I have thought about that young man every day since my encounter with him.
With each thought of him, God increases my love toward him.
The Lord has shown me that because I have been obedient to pray for him,
that young man is another step closer to becoming what God intended for him to be.
He is destined for greatness.
He is destined for the Kingdom.

I have asked the Lord that should my situation in life change for the better,
that He would direct me to that young man
so that I may be blessed with helping him in a real and practical way.

Whether I see him again on this earth or not,
I am confident that I will see him in heaven.

Whether we become homeless or not remains to be seen.
But I do know that I will never look at another homeless person
in the same light.
Nor will I ever ignore another homeless person.
Because in doing so, I miss out on the blessing of experiencing God's love for them.

"Do not judge and criticize and condemn others,
so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves."
 Matthew 7:1

I  believe that if we followed this simple verse, the world would be a different kind of place.

I know that I have been changed - for the better.

God is good.
Come what may.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sheltering Wings

Hiding under the shelter
of the wings of the Most High.
The Shadow of Destruction
edging ever closer.

Death; a welcomed friend.
Destruction; a fate unfathomed.

Abiding under the wings
of the One who protects.
While meeting, face-to-face,
the one who destroys.

Under the Shadow of Shelter
within the grasp of terror.

Safe within the armor
of the promises of the Most High;
Protected from the threat
of destruction.

Evil would destroy.
Goodness will protect.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Life is full of choices.
Perception and attitude are among those choices.
Whether one sees the glass as half full or half empty,
the facts remains that there is, indeed, water in it.
Whether one focuses on the positive or on the negative
is up to each individual.

Today, I am purposing to remain in an attitude of thankfulness.

One week ago today, my son broke his arm.
It was no minor break either.
In fact, the ER doctor said that the only time they see a break that bad
is if someone has been hit with a baseball bat or something similar.

I am thankful that that was not the case with my son.
It turns out that he had some sort of cyst on his bone which caused it to weaken.
So something as simple as slipping and falling on it, snapped that Humerus right in half,
but not without some splintering as well.
However, I am thankful that the cyst was discovered by this break
because it has saved him from some potential difficulties in the future.

Despite the severity of the break,
I am thankful that he didn't have to have surgery.
I am thankful that we live in country where medical care is not withheld,
even if you don't have medical insurance.
I am thankful for the friends who met me at the pharmacy and paid for my son's meds
and took me to the gas station and filled my gas tank for the trips back and forth to the doctors' offices
(120 miles round trip, three days in a row).
I am thankful that I was able to borrow the $300 deposit
 that the Orthopedic Doctor requires from cash patients.
I am thankful that Orthodist gave us a 50% discount on the special brace
for my son's arm since we are a cash customer.
I am thankful that I received a $200 check the day after I
wrote the check to the Orthodist so that my bank account was not overdrawn.

I am thankful that my eyes have been opened to the importance and impact
that our perceptions and attitudes have on our mental well-being.
For when we focus on the negative, our spirits are crushed.
But when we choose an attitude of thankfulness and
choose to see things through the eyes of the Divine,
our spirits are lifted.
I am thankful that God promises to never leave nor forsake His children.
I am thankful that He is a good and gracious Father and delights in doing good for them.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Feeling the Loss

“God blesses you who are poor,
for the Kingdom of God is yours.
God blesses you who are hungry now,
for you will be satisfied.
God blesses you who weep now,
for in due time you will laugh."
Luke 6:20a-21

I know that these words are true.
I hold onto them as if my life depended on them.
In fact, my life does depend on them.

Standing in the midst of extreme adverse circumstances.
Standing with the One who knows the beginning from the end.
Yet, missing the only other one who understood without judgement.

My mom was the other person on this earth who knew the details of our circumstances.
She was the one who could relate because she had been through it.
She was the one who could offer godly wisdom
and do so without judgement.
She knew my heart. She knew my faith.
She knew me.

Today, as I stand in the midst of this mess called life;
standing with the One who knows the beginning from the end,
I ask, "How am I to do this without anyone here who understands?"
I know that the One who stands with me also understands,
yet, I really miss my mom.

I believe the words spoken by Jesus.
I know that He knows the beginning from the end.
I stand with Him, living one moment at a time.
It really is all that I can do.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What My Mom Taught Me

In the year since my mom left us to go take her place in heaven,
I have spent a great deal of time thinking about the things she taught me.
The one thing that resounds the loudest and most frequently
is that death is not something that has to be feared.

She believed the Scripture
and John 3:16 was a verse she held firmly to;
"For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life."

There were times where she struggled in and with her faith
and questioned many things that she had been taught about God,
but she knew that Jesus loved her and as she grew in her relationship with Him,
she learned to rest in the fact that faith in Christ was her assurance of heaven.

Because of  this, I too learned that, for the one who believes in Jesus as Messiah,
there is absolutely no reason to fear death.
For, absence from this earth means presence with Him in heaven.

My mom has taken her place in heaven.
Though no longer on this earth,
she is alive in heaven and will one day return to rule and reign with Christ.
What a wonderful promise from a loving Father
to all of His children; attainable because of Christ by each one's choosing to believe in Him.
It truly is as simple as John 3:16 says.

Thank you Jesus!
And thank you, Mom, for teaching this to me.
If, when I leave this earth, my children have the same testimony of me,
 I will know that I have done my job well.

Love & blessings to you all!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Four

Every time I fall into the trap of judging others,
God faithfully reveals something of myself to me.

He knows me better than I know myself.
He sees my flaws,
yet looks at me through the eyes of Perfection.

When I remember this,
I too am able to see others
the way that He sees.

Indeed, this is Love!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Three

"There is no such thing as a random act of kindness.
Being Spirit-filled means every act is Spirit-lead.
Acts of kindness, goodness & mercy should be the habits of my people.
Make it your habit.
In doing so, you fulfill the desires of my heart.
As you bless others, so will I bless you."

Saturday, August 27, 2011

God Thoughts No. Thirty-Two

The dictionary definition of "remember" -
~to recall to the mind by an act or effort of memory; think of again.
~to retain in the memory; keep in mind; remain aware of
~to have (something) come into the mind again
~to bear (a person) in mind as deserving a gift, reward, or fee
~to give a tip, donation, or gift to

The Bible has alot to say about remembering as well.
Abraham, Moses and David often survived by remembering;
remembering God's goodness, His promises, His love.

We are to remember Jesus and what He has done for us.

And we are taught that we should remember one another;
in thought, prayer, encouragement and love.

"Sing praises to Adonai, you faithful of His;
and give thanks on recalling (remembering) His holiness."
Psalm 30:4

"The desire of all our soul is to remember You and Your name."
Isaiah 26:8

"Then He took a loaf [of bread], and when He had given thanks, He broke [it] and gave it to them saying, This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me."
Luke 22:19

"And when He had given thanks, He broke [it] and said, Take, eat. This is My body, which is broken for you. Do this to call Me [affectionately] to remembrance."
1 Corinthains 11:24

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you.
In every prayer of mine I always make my entreaty and petition for you all with joy (delight)."
Philippians 1:3-4

Remembering brings encouragement.
Remembering gives strength.
Remembering provides healing.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

1 Corinthians 13:8a


Love (true, abiding, real, love) never fails (to dwindle, pass, or die away)
 [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

Bon appetit!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Daughter & Father - A Dialogue

Why do I bother?
"Because I told you to."

Does it even matter?
"It matters to Me."

Who really cares?
"I care."

I want people to care.
"Some do."

A few... I guess.

"Am I enough for you?"
Of course. Yes.
But you said to desire relationships.

I desire more.
"Treasure the few I have given you.
They will come."

It's hard.
"I will sustain you."

I'm tired.
"I know."

Shall I continue?

Will anyone read?

I wish I didn't care; that it didn't matter.
"What matters is that you obey."

I know.
That's why I continue.
"Then you do well.
Obedience is My heart's desire.
And as you fulfill the desires of My heart,
so will I fulfill yours."

I want only to desire what Your heart desires.
"And so it is.
You are an obedient daughter,
And that IS all that matters."

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