Friday, October 29, 2010


We all know that through out life we will have many different "types" of friends. For instance, acquaintance-friends, life-long friends, family who are friends, etcetera. Some people move in and out of our lives at various times and others remain no matter what.

As I have determined to go deep with the Lord and do some major "soul searching" and have asked Him to reveal myself to me, I have learned many things. The passing of my mom from this life into heaven has added a whole other dimension to this process.

The other day, a friend (one of those friend of a friend who has now become an acquaintance friend, but is dear to my heart becasue she is a sister -in -the- Lord friend), was visiting from Washington. Knowing that my mom passed away last month, she had asked me how I was doing. I'm pretty sure I gave her some sort of "pat" answer. Then she looked and me and asked, "Lysa, what do you need?"

I have to tell you that I was momentarily taken aback. I didn't really know how to answer that. In fact, I wanted to weep with gratitude for her asking. There are so many things going on in my life and my mom's passing is just one component in all of it.
After a brief pause, I gave a general answer of needing the Lord to fulfill His promises to me. After a second brief pause, I added that I need people to care; or at least for people to show that they care.

You see, by nature, I am a very sensitive, empathetic and caring person. It is my nature to be concerned about people and to SHOW them that I care. I do this in various ways, depending on how the Holy Spirit leads me. I have determined that when He says "move" or "go", I do it. For me, this comes naturally.

Through my conversation with my friend, however, I was once again reminded that not everyone thinks like I do. Another dear friend pointed out that often, people project their own needs and personalities onto others. For example, she admitted that when she is stressed-out or tired, she likes to be left alone for some quiet time. So, she assumes that everyone else is like that as well. Thus, she will not "bother" other people who may be stressed or who are dealing with alot of things going on in their lives.

While I understand what she is saying, I don't believe that this is the way God wants Christ-followers to be.
Jesus went to people. Jesus met the needs of others. And when people went to Him; sought Him out, He never turned them away. He was/is never too busy for us as we often are for one another.

When word "got out" that my mom had passed away, many people came out to my parents house to pay their respects and express condolensces and of course, many people attended her Celebration of Life service. But I have to candidly share that since then, not many people have expressed much concern for my well-being. In fact, it's pretty much been "life as usual"; with people expecting me to continue on as the care-taker, giver, visitor, friend, etc. that I have always been. I'm not saying that this is "bad". What I am trying to convey is that I have feelings and needs as well. And, quite frankly, no one (up until the other day) has stopped to ask what those needs may be.

Please, dear reader, do not feel as if I am trying to make anyone feel guilty or that I am finger-pointing. All I am doing is sharing, from my heart, what the Lord has given me permission to share. Not only because it's what's on my heart, but because it's on His heart as well.

He desires for us to care for and love one another; to bear one another's burdens when the other person is too weak too bear it alone. Jesus is the ultimate friend. He knows what we need when we need it. Yet, He desires for us to express those needs; both to Him and to one another.

Expressing my needs to others is a new concept for me. I've rarely ever done it because I have always been the one to meet the needs of others. The Lord revealed to me, through my friend, that this is something in my thinking that He wants to change. It is right to share our needs with others. It is okay to ask for help.

On the other side of that, the Lord wants others to realize that He has created us all differently and that we must be careful not to assume things about others based upon our own thoughts, desires, preferences and /or personalities. His desire is that we extend beyond ourselves and into the mind of Christ; to be and do all that He desires for us to be and do. We can't do that if we filter everything through our own perspectives. We can only do it in and through His Spirit who knows each of us and who is ever ready to lead and guide us.

I hope and pray that my "being real" here has helped someone. I know it has helped me tremendously! So, thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you. Much love and many blessings!


  1. Guilty! I know that is what I do. I lost my daddy when I was 9 yrs. old. Nobody talked to us about it in fact I didn't know for about 4 years that he took his own life.
    I am one of those who withdraws during hard times even from my closest friends. I apologize for not inquiring about your welfare. I loved your mom a lot and I miss her. I know she was "the other pea in your pod" and you must miss her terribly.
    Forgive me? and thanks for "being real" I needed to hear this. <3 annette

  2. Oh Lysa. Don't apologize for a thing. You're absolutely right. After the celebration or mourning period has passed people tend to go on. I remember when my own mother died thinking how can the world continue to turn when this person has just gone, gone from this earth forever. It was so hard. And you and I sound so much alike. I feel so deeply for others and as Neil says I have lots of periwinkle dreams. I certainly don't want to be thought of as doing just so someone will do back for me. I do it because I really enjoy it, because I want to comfort someone. I want to make someone smile or feel good. I want to be a blessing to someone. I do admit I have a short attention span and am a little hyper but everything I say and do I mean and I hope it's accepted as a true love from the Lord.

    I'm sorry that I haven't been by to check on you more. But I am here anytime you ever want to talk. I'll be praying for your peace and comfort in Jesus name.

    Love....Tracy :)


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