Friday, June 22, 2012


This morning I was reflecting on my children and on parenting.
And as the saying goes, 
"I wish I had known then what I know now..."

As I was musing, I began making a list of the things that I have done
and of the things I have learned.

Certainly, there are some things I wish I had done better/more.
But there are also some things I have done well.

In the hope of encouraging someone,
I have decided to share my list.

Bear in mind that it's in no particular order.
I simply wrote it as I thought it.

Lavish your children with Love & affection.
Spend (quantity) time with them.
Make loving & nurturing them a priority.
The housework can wait.

"Spoil" them with love
rather than material possessions.

Teach and discipline them,
but only in Love;
never in anger.

Determine to raise them as best as you know how.
And realize that your parents probably raised you 
the best that they knew how.
Be gracious-
full of Grace.

As they grow up 
and may place some distance between themselves and you,
remain steadfast.

Don't get jealous or hurt
by others whom they have grown to love.
be thankful that there are others who choose to love them
and want to be a part of their lives.

Be there for them
but don't hover;
no "helicopter" moms!

Recognize when you need to step back 
and allow them to make decisions.
Guide but don't suffocate.

Recognize generational sins & curses in your family line
and determine that it stops with you.
Declare that they do NOT affect your children
and be willing to stand in the gap for as long as it takes
to break it!

Choose your battles wisely!
Instead of simply saying, "No" to purple hair
because you don't like it,
find out why they want purple hair.
Maybe purple is their favorite color and they want the
world to know it just by looking at them.
Maybe it's a sign of rebellion.
Finding out the root is much more important
than demanding your way simply because you can.

Allow your children to express themselves
through hair, clothing, art, music, etc.
Who cares what anyone else thinks as long
as you understand what's going on inside of them?

If you want your children to learn to make good choices,
then set the example by making good choices yourself.
And allow them TO make choices.

Cuddle more.
Criticize less.

Listen more.
Demand less.

Don't expect your child, "tween" or teen to act like an adult.
They are in a different place hormonally and emotionally than you
if you treat them with the same respect that you expect as an adult,
they will mostly likely surprise you!

Whisper words of affirmation & love into their ear
for as long as they allow it.
They grow up way too fast!

Married couples,
love your spouse well and openly.
If you don't respect your spouse,
how can you teach your children to respect theirs?

Stop nagging.
Explain things to them.
They are smarter than you think!

Make your home their "Safe" place.
They need a place that is safe from the world
which is all too ready & willing to hurt them.

If your home isn't safe, 
they will run from it first chance they get
and likely seek safety in the wrong places!

If your children are grown 
or you feel like you've already 
"blown it" 
and that it's too late -
think again!
It is never too late to 
repent, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Communicate with them...
children, teens and adults alike.
Remember communication is two way.
Listen first.
Speak second.

And most importantly of all,
keep in mind your heavenly Father.

He is always loving,
patient & long-suffering,
 there for you.

He has given you free will 
and allows you to make choices
but is always willing to give guidance & counsel.

He is not a tyrant
and loves perfectly and unconditionally!

He is the perfect model
of the ultimate parent!
The ultimate model
of the perfect parent!
(hee hee)

Focus on Him first
and the result will be 
children who are loved, nurtured
and able to cope in life.


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